Proverbs Revisited

Albert was given a competition form to fill in - fit the proverb to the initial letters - e.g. ASITSN = "A stitch in time saves nine". His answers, which follow, were not exactly what the organisers expected.

ASLTW	A sly look tempts widowers
ABITHIWTITB	A bog in the house is worth two in the backyard
ACIAGAAR	A camel is a gift and a rarity
ECHASL	Every computer has a software lapse
CHWH	Cold hand widdle hurried
CYCATYC	Cook your curry according to your clock
ALNCHS	A long nose can't half smell
OSDNMAS	One salad does not make a slimmer
YAAOAYF	Young age and old age yearn forever
BITTW	Better ignorant than too wise

Odd essays

Albert's suggestions for essay titles - to be set as an alternative to "lines"

The long-term effects on the plastic garden gnome of the oil shortage
The place of the plaster duck in modern society
The rôle of the astronaut as knight in armour
My life as a jam-jar golliwog
"No gnus is good gnus." Explain.
Why Chinese dragons are green and have long whiskers
Is the bookworm more intelligent than the garden worm?
The use of the plastic gnome in germ warfare

NB - these were written before the Americans invented the blight of "Political Correctness".

For this relief, much thanks

as remarked by Shakespeare - something to do with a monstrous quantity of sack.